Just keep swimming

I don't ever blog anymore but I feel like I need to write some of these "feelings" down so  maybe one day I can look back and see it was just a phase.

About a month ago we found out that Ricky will lose his job at the end of the month. He has been a term for 7 years and has always been told by his lead people and bosses that his job was secure, that they would make sure he had a job, that they would just transfer the terms over, blah blah blah.  About 2 months ago his building was taken over by a different department of the army and this is not how they run.   So the new department posted all 12 of the terms positions and told them good luck.   Being that only 3 of the terms are vets and over 500 vets put in for the jobs, Ricky and 8 of  his coworkers are out. Let me say this, I absolutely agree that the vets should get the positions, they have served our country and are completely due the benefits of putting their life on the line. That  being said it still stinks that 9 people who are all according to the results of their application are "WELL QUALIFIED"for the job are out of jobs. They all have families and homes and are just done. It isn't that their work has decreased to where they aren't needed but that the people that have been working for 7 years just aren't wanted.

 So now we both have to find jobs. Ricky has been the only one working for the past 7 years. His pay was enough to let me stay at home with the babies and we have had to budget for our wants and needs. Ricky's pay has dropped over 10k in the last few years as the overtime was reduced. So now we are faced with his pay being cut another 8-10 dollars an hr at least. He interviewed for a job but we don't know for sure yet if that will work out so I have to find something NOW!!  I have have 2 1/2 years left of school. I should be able to transfer next fall and begin my classes for elementary education. I was hoping to be home until my babies started school and now that is all messed up.

While we have both spent lots of time over the last month putting in for jobs I have only had 2 interviews and to me that is very depressing. I of course haven't had much luck with those interviews or I wouldn't be complaining.

My concerns are leaving my babies, Regan has only known meme at home and if I'm not is he going to be OK? How can I handle full time work, full time mom, full time school? How are we going to make enough to cover our bills? If Ricky can find something somewhere how are we going to sell our house and move?

I'm scared and don't like my normal to change. I need a job!!