Regan's story

Ricky and I were married in March of 2004. I had foot surgery in April of 04 and while on the antibiotics got pregnant in May. Antibiotics+birth control= increase risk of pregnancy. That's right, two months after getting married I'm pregnant!! The honeymoon stage ended quickly!!

The entire time I was pregnant I kept telling Ricky that something was wrong with our baby. I just felt it. He being the positive person he is told me that I was just pregnant and my hormones were out of control.

February of 2005
I went into labor at 4am on Saturday the 19th. I wouldn't delievery Regan until 3:58pm on SUNDAY! Yep, 35hours and 58minutes after I felt my first contraction. When Regan was born he was blue, but started crying in just a few seconds. I remember while the doctor was finishing up an nurse walking toward the door, the doctor mouthed something to the nurse and the nurse made a sad face and shook her head yes. At the time I had no idea what was said but a few hours later we would find out. While everyone was there and we were counting fingers and toes we noticed that his pinky toe was attached to his "ring" toe. Ricky went and asked the nurse and she said the doctor will be in to talk to you after he does his exam. So they came and got Regan from me and off to the nursery he went. A little while later I got to see the proofs of his first pictures. My dear friend was sitting on the bed beside me and I told her "He looks like a down syndrome baby" but we talked about how it had been 36 hours so maybe his face was flat from that. All of our family went home and that left Ricky and myself with three of our friends. We were all just talking and enjoying the moment when a doctor walked in. He said he was here to talk to us about our son and then just went right into. "Your child has the characteristics of a child with down syndrome" He then went on to say things that no mother would ever want to hear. He told us that he would be retarded (I'll post my feelings about this one day) He told us that Regan would struggle to walk, talk and would have many health problems. I shut him out after that. I don't remember the doctor walking out of the room or anything. I remember crying to give me the phone so I could call my parents. My brother answered the phone and I was sobbing. He screamed for my mom who was already in the bed and I just screamed to her. They made a 30 min drive in about 10. A nurse brought me in a little pill a little while later. I never asked what it was because I knew it was something to calm me down. They finally brought Regan in for us again. All I wanted to do was hold my baby. The day he was born was the happiest day of my life and the saddest day. On one hand I had just had my first child. He had a head full of dark brown hair that stood up all over his head. The greatest love I ever knew. On the other hand we lost a child that day. We didn't have the pro football player or brain surgeon son we dreamed about. He changed us that day. We became parents of a special needs child.