Just keep swimming

I don't ever blog anymore but I feel like I need to write some of these "feelings" down so  maybe one day I can look back and see it was just a phase.

About a month ago we found out that Ricky will lose his job at the end of the month. He has been a term for 7 years and has always been told by his lead people and bosses that his job was secure, that they would make sure he had a job, that they would just transfer the terms over, blah blah blah.  About 2 months ago his building was taken over by a different department of the army and this is not how they run.   So the new department posted all 12 of the terms positions and told them good luck.   Being that only 3 of the terms are vets and over 500 vets put in for the jobs, Ricky and 8 of  his coworkers are out. Let me say this, I absolutely agree that the vets should get the positions, they have served our country and are completely due the benefits of putting their life on the line. That  being said it still stinks that 9 people who are all according to the results of their application are "WELL QUALIFIED"for the job are out of jobs. They all have families and homes and are just done. It isn't that their work has decreased to where they aren't needed but that the people that have been working for 7 years just aren't wanted.

 So now we both have to find jobs. Ricky has been the only one working for the past 7 years. His pay was enough to let me stay at home with the babies and we have had to budget for our wants and needs. Ricky's pay has dropped over 10k in the last few years as the overtime was reduced. So now we are faced with his pay being cut another 8-10 dollars an hr at least. He interviewed for a job but we don't know for sure yet if that will work out so I have to find something NOW!!  I have have 2 1/2 years left of school. I should be able to transfer next fall and begin my classes for elementary education. I was hoping to be home until my babies started school and now that is all messed up.

While we have both spent lots of time over the last month putting in for jobs I have only had 2 interviews and to me that is very depressing. I of course haven't had much luck with those interviews or I wouldn't be complaining.

My concerns are leaving my babies, Regan has only known meme at home and if I'm not is he going to be OK? How can I handle full time work, full time mom, full time school? How are we going to make enough to cover our bills? If Ricky can find something somewhere how are we going to sell our house and move?

I'm scared and don't like my normal to change. I need a job!!

I pretty much think my husband is the best guy/man around. I mean, He works all day comes home passes me at the gate and takes on three kids. There are days that the house is a wreck, the kids are fussing, and dinner is frozen pizza bites, But he never complains. He does baths and has the kids in bed before I get home. He is AMAZING! 

Except one thing... HE SNORES~I'm not talking about a little person cute snore I'm talking wake a hibernating bear, call of the wild, scare the buffalos snore. It drives me crazy crazier. I try to be nice and just touch him to get it to stop, my next move is to pull the blanket, I usually get a few minutes of peace with that. But just as I get cozy and think I have defeated that ear rattling noise, it creeps back in. Slowly at first, not a consistant snore just that sweet little noise babies do. Then slowly it gets louder and scarier to finally it sounds like someone has cranked a VW bug next to me. I usually move to a more agressive approach by this time and rub his arm. When that doesn't work he gets a good ole fake sneeze. AAAAACHOOO! Ugh,come on. That leaves me no choice but to kick his leg and then act all innocent when he wakes up. My plan is to act innocent and go to sleep faster than he falls back asleep, hoping I can start MY snoring before he gets back to sleep. 

I have the perfect hubby until bed time!

Birthday party blues

Sometimes I want to delete my facebook page and never look back. It causes so much pain and annoyance when I see kids in Regan's class having parties and Regan wasn't invited.  Today I saw the forth party that he wasn't invited to,  this was to a girl that he talks about being his friend.

 Are their parents afraid to invite Regan? Do the kids beg their parents to not invite him? Does he have any friends at school or does he feel lost and alone? I get reports that he is loved by everyone but then why have we only had 1 party invite in two years from school?   Ugh, no parent likes to feel that their child is being left out do they? 

On other news we had a great Valentine's Day.  We had red beans and rice. ( I know shocker right?) I made a caramel cake and cupcakes. We made some lemon bars and took them to my mom today at her work and then for supper I decorated the table with candles, conversation hearts, plastic "champagne" glasses and heart cut outs with things that I loved about each of them. I had to go to class. I hated to leave them but I was even more upset when the instructor didn't show up. Oh well, another reason that I should have finished school years ago!

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
     10 and a half years. We started dating in August 2011.


2. How did you meet?
     Kindergarten. We went to school together all through school. We didn't really become friends until our Junior year and then we were even closer our senior year.


3. If married, How long have you been married?
     Next month will be eight years. .


4. If you are married, where did you get married? Big or small wedding?
     We got married in a small church that has since been turned into a community center. We had a pretty small wedding only about 50 people.

5. Do you have any nicknames for each other?
     Well... no not really. I'll call him babe but that is about it.


6. Name 3 things you love about your honey.
     1} His positive outlook 2} The way he looks at our children when he doesn't know I'm watching him 3} That he puts up with my crazy.




7. Tell us how he proposed.
    Which time? ha! No kidding we got engaged 2 times. Both in the a bathroom!! The first time I was moving into a trailer behind my parents and he "helped" paint the wall for me one day while I was off shopping. When I got home he took me to the bath room and all he had painted was will you marry me. There on the counter was a monkey with a ring box The second time we were again in the bathroom at his parents house in the while I got my make up touched up and I went to pat his chest and felt the ring in his shirt pocket!! All I could do was laugh and so we got in engaged in the bathroom! How romantic,right?


8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?
     He is neither. We don't do Valentine's Day. I don't want flowers and candy or anything on a day that he is told to do it. Love me any other day of the year and will will mean more than on Valentine's.




9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch? I would love to be sunset on the beach but we are more of on the couch watching a movie.




10. Tell us one thing you’d like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?    I would love to spend the day in New Orleans together.


11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentines Day? I have class and he has to work so we will not see each other really until later.


12. Are you asking for anything for V-day?
Maybe a foot rub. But I do that everyday!




13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love. Time together away from distractions. We usually let the kids go off one evening a week so that we can spend time catching up with each other. It is really important especially for us we don't see each except for about 10 mins until I get home from school at almost 9pm every night.




14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.

The clock

Tonight in class we had to write about an object in a room where we had a gut wrenching experience. My mind went to a clock in a room where my life was forever changed. This post won't make sense to anyone probably, but as I sat there writing through sobs I thought maybe I had some issues deep down that I never worked out.

3:58
White with Black numbers
Time changed
Life changed
Blue baby
Green mommy
Quiet whispers
side way glances
half way smiles
Life changes
Happy times
~
odd feet
quiet times
bedside manner
didn't matter
phone calls
worst nightmares
~
Warm showers
Hot tears
white pill
cold shivers

Those all came to me while I was in class. I still cry tears thinking about that moment he was born. I looked right at the clock the moment he came into the world. I had no clue that almost 7 years later that clock hanging on that tan wall would mean so much to me. It's the moment my life as I knew it ended. It's the moment that I became not just a mom, but a meme.  The moments after Regan was born I saw the doctor mouth something to a nurse as she went out of the room. I remember the nurses facial expression that made me feel that something wasn't right. I just had no clue what that something was.

Life with Regan has been a challenge it has made me stronger than I ever thought possible. I have learned to stand up for what I believe is right and has made me want to be a better person. Even though these feelings all feel negative toward his diagnosis I could never explain the joy that 3:58 brought into my life. There is something so different about my bond with Regan.  In that minute he wasn't the only person born, I was too.   I don't believe, "Special parents get Special kids", I know that special kids MAKE special parents.

Regan

Dance party!!

     Regan loves to dance, he will shake his booty to any music and is actually a pretty good dancer. (He did not get that from his meme or daddy) His latest thing is break dancing, he gets on the floor and tries to spin himself! Such a funny guy.

     School is going really well for him. He is amazing me with his computer skills. He will get on Starfall and navigate around the site.  That is a huge change from last year or even the beginning of the year. He is working hard on reading and I'm sure he will soon "get it" I know he wants to it just hasn't clicked for him just yet.

     He is listening to us and following directions so much more. He has matured so much this school year and we are so happy with the boy he is becoming. Potty has been an issue over the past few months. He was in a situation that he didn't like and started having accidents to get out of the room he was in.  We are just getting all that back on track after we all figured out what the problem was. We do feel like there is a GI issue with Regan and so we will be asking for a GI referral at his 7 year check up. 7 YEARS!! How can it be?! 

     Wednesday will be surgery time for Regan. He is having bilateral eye surgery to correct both eyes. He has been wearing glasses all these years to correct his eye turning in but is now losing sight in his eye. So we are hoping that it can correct those issues for him. This surgery was scheduled before and was cancelled because the doctor was sick. 

     That's my update on Regan he is an amazing little boy who amazes us everyday!

    

More stuff

Madness is about to hit at our house again starting tomorrow. School starts for me and that means Ricky is in charge of the nightly routine. He does so well keeping up the routine, but I have such guilt about leaving them. I'm only taking four classes this semester so maybe that will make it easier for all of us.

Regan starts a new program tomorrow at school for reading, it's called waterford. I'm excited to see what he can learn from it. He knows all his letters and letter sounds but we are still having trouble putting it together. He will be pulled out for this and will have one-on-one so he will either love it or hate it. We shall see.

A week from Wednesday, Regan will be having another surgery. This one will be on his eyes. We have tried glasses for years to correct his Esotropia but it has not corrected with glasses.  I'm already nervous but trying not to think about it too much. Regan will be in good hands, I just wish he didn't have to endure any pain.

October...Really??

I just looked and it was October when I posted last. Oops! I need to be better at putting our life on here so that I can look back and know what was going on. Let's do a quick recap

Since my last post

• Kollyn turned 2!
• He had two parties
• We celebrated Halloween
• Karly was a monkey
• Regan Big Al
• Kollyn a bee turned into a football player
• My less than 10 month old, too expensive camera stopped working
• Thanksgiving~My fav!!
• I got hit at a red light~~ minor damage HUGE lesson learned
• Found out Regan needs eye surgery on same day
• Finals!! 4 A's 1 B!
• Grades for semester   100 96 98 94 and 84
• Swear to never take History where test are 6-8 chapters at a time!!
• Ricky and I turned 30!!!!!
• Christmas
• Christmas migraine
• Friends B-day~~ Cheesecake factory and shopping!!
• New Years at home playing Phase 10 with friends!
• Still waiting on Camera shipment with repaired camera in it!!

That's our last couple of months! I'm hoping to blog more but who knows school starts back next week so we will see how that goes.

Down Syndrome Awareness Month

Here we are seven days into Down syndrome Awareness month and I haven't even mentioned it. Pull out the streamers and candy today we party!? Is that the way to celebrate that extra piece Regan got? Is it something to celebrate? It makes Regan.....Regan... Do we celebrate when someone has brown hair, is there a National Brown hair awareness month? ( Don't look it up cause there probably is and then my point wouldn't be valid) Regan was born with it does it make him unique? You betcha it does. He has his funny ways about how things go, which seat he sits in, what he eats, how he likes his toys to be, what he wants to do with each person he spends time with. Wait.... Don't we all?  I always sit in the same seat in school and if someone is in my seat it just makes me all messed up.  Maybe we should celebrate National wanna sit in the same seat month?

 I don't want to wait until October every year to celebrate this unique characteristic. Regan is more than an awareness month he is a little boy that loves football, tball, baseball, basketball, climbing, running, the band, the cheerleaders, motorcycles, running in the woods, the bus,snuggles with his meme, chicken, sprite, playing with Daddy and so much more.

So this month when I write it's going to be a series on Regan. I'll tell you about the day we became "aware" of DS, I'll go through some of our most asked questions and if you have any feel free to ask me.  Send me an email, leave a comment with your question,  Facebook or twitter. What ever works for you. I'll tell you about some things we are wanting in the future for Regan. Ways that his extra chromosome effects him. What we plan to tell Kollyn and Karly about Regan and much more.

I'm excited to spread awareness about Regan, he is truly an amazing guy!

Kids

Lately the boys have had me cracking up at the things they say. I wanted to write them down somewhere so that even on days they are causing trouble I will be able to remember the cute things.


Kollyn:
I need dat...... doesn't matter if its a spoon or a insect outside its always I need that or I need that pleeeese


Ant bite me...   The child got into ants MONTHS ago and now every time something itches he starts telling me ant bite me!

We asked him one day if he had a ant bite and he replied with sure did!   Soo Country


"I tired" He gets in trouble and he tells us he is tired



Regan
This morning I told him he sure was cute and he replied    "I  know"   

Karly says dada,bye, momma,rayray, bite, and sprite.  

Aaron

I've been trying to figure out how to post this for over two weeks. I can't even figure out what to say except to be keeping Aaron's family in your thoughts, prayers, meditations, what ever it is you do. Every time I start to write a post I'm in tears. I haven't personally know anyone that has been injured in this war but I do now. It hits differently when you know a person, their family, where there house was. Ricky and I got married in the church that Aaron's dad was the pastor. His dad talked to us about Aaron and had just this sparkle in his eye.

Aaron and I were friends in high school. He took me to my first high school dance because the guy I was "liking" at the time didn't want to go. He took care of me and looked out for me for years. I got us lost a couple of times going to Gadsden but he always just laughed it off. Aaron came to bonfires at our house and we all went to eat lots of times.  A couple of years after I graduated I ran into him at a bar in Oxford and he was still the same sweet guy. I have only kept up with him through facebook over the last couple of years but he would post pics of his travels and I would always tell Ricky that I wanted to go!

Aaron's wife and dad are keeping up his caringbridge site. I have never met his wife but just reading her post I know they are a match. I know that Aaron's life will be different now but I know he will come out of this and we will teach us all something about persevering.

A colorful birthday!!

Today we had Karly's first birthday. I have to say that this party has really stressed me out. I didn't get everything done before it was party time. Time management was not the best but it was super cute, if I do say so myself! 

Happy Birthday!!

Today is this little girls 1st Birthday!!! I can't even believe it has been a year since she came into our world. I can't imagine a life without her silly ways, her scrunched up nose and her laughter.

We all love our little girl so much and can't wait to celebrate her this weekend!

Happy Birthday Miss Priss! We love you so much!!

Buzz is for babies?

This morning I pulled out one of Regan's buzz light year shirts for him to wear. He quickly told me no! So I pulled out another toy story shirt and again he told me NO! So I asked him what the deal was because he loved Buzz and Woody over the Summer?!! His response to me "Uzz fo abies" ~~~~~~BUZZ IS FOR BABIES?? Are you kidding me?  I thought Buzz was still cool? Undoubtly not to Regan anymore. I just wonder what happened and who changed his mind. Seems my little boy is growing up and this momma isn't ready for that.

Buffalo chicken sandwiches

Its almost football time and we all know how exciting that is in our house! I mean really Regan's first two word combo was ROLL TIDE! All three kids say it and its kinda crazy around here when they see football.

With football comes some food time!! My favorite! Kellys Korner is doing a crockpotalooza today and so I had to add some of my favorites.


Buffalo chicken sandwiches


6-8 frozen chicken tenders
3/4 bottle of your favorite wing sauce
1 packet of ranch dress (dry mix)

Pour the sauce and dry mix over the chicken and cook on low for 6 hours.
Take chicken out and shred
Pour off the liquid out of crock pot
Mix remaining 1/4 bottle of sauce into the crock pot and mix

We serve this on sub rolls with ranch dressing and IT'S SOOO GOOD!!

I don't have a picture because I never think about taking pictures but it is soo good!

My Blue Rose

A Blue Rose
Author unknown


Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.


I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here."


It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?"

"My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly.


"Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve."


"Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked. "Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?"


"How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.


"You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."


I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someones attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.


Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.

I told her there were plenty of red,yellow and pink roses however Blue Roses are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Danny is a blue rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with kindness then they have missed on of life's greatest joys.



My sweet Regan,
You are my blue rose. I am forever grateful that you came into our world with your extra piece and rocked our world.  Even when things don't go the way I want for you I know that in the morning you will wake up with a smile on your face ready to take on the world. I wish I could get you to understand that we see the hurt in your eyes and we feel it a 1000 times more when you are disappointed but I'm so proud of the guy you are becoming. I'm so happy to be your meme and I promise to ALWAYS fight for you.



Things are going very good at school. I love my classes. I'm so glad I have a hubby and family that support me in going back to school.  I have most of my assignments done for two of my classes for the entire semester and that just makes me more relaxed. My only thing would be more sleep  but I guess that is what caffeine is for.


Ricky has decided to sell his Rodeo. I'm kinda sad but we don't ever go in the woods anymore. I think he has found something he would rather have and so he knows he has to sell one to get another.  I wish now we wouldn't of put so much money in it as far as lights, radio, and speakers. If you know someone who would like a rodeo let us know!

Regan seems to be doing really well in school. His new aide and he are doing well together. I'm still sad that we lost our other aide but what do you do? We have been having accidents EVERY. SINGLE. DAY it started before I went back to school but man is it getting old. He went all summer with just a few accidents all summer and now good gracious its frustrating. Sometimes I feel all alone on this DS journey. I have no idea what to do!

Karly still isn't walking! She will hold on to our hands and walk but has only taken a few steps by herself. She is all girl but her personality is really showing. She loves bows as long as they are not in her hair. She loves dolls and dresses.  She doesn't love shoes except to put in her mouth. She says hey,bye,dada,mike,mama,nana, what that, and bubba. She is crazy about her brothers! One day Kollyn was crying and she crawled over to him with her bottle in her mouth and gave him her bottle! I cried. They can be so sweet to each other at times.

I'm super excited about her party in a few weeks. I have lots of ideas but haven't done anything!! That is very odd for me not to have something done but I just don't have time with school everynight. I hope this weekend I can get some stuff done. It's not going to be over the top but its fun doing things for a little girl!

What good is a post without pictures???

First night of class!!

Well my first night went really well. I have two classes each night and then I have one online class. I'm still looking at either doing elementary education or special education. I'm kind of excited about the thought of being a regular education teacher and working on ways for inclusion. I know how important it is for special needs children to be included in regular classrooms and I would love to help them be included!

 I'm basically starting over because only one of my classes from before Regan will work with my new major! But at least I can say that I have one down! Positive thinking,right?  I'm going to miss putting the babies in bed at night but I still get to spend the day with them. Regan and I are together about an hour in the morning and then usually 2 hours in the afternoon. I wish he and I had more time but I know he and his daddy are going to have some one on one time after the babies go to bed and he really needs that.

Well I've got homework to do and babies to love on!

Another chapter in life

Today is my first day back to school!!

Beach time!!

We decided to take a trip to the beach this weekend. We needed to get away and just enjoy some time together before all the crazy times begin next week.  We checked Regan out of school on Friday and hit the road! Six hours later we FINALLY made it. On the way down we stopped 6 times for potty breaks and snack breaks but we had fun and that is what we wanted. 

When we got to the hotel we changed real quick and went down to the beach before it got to dark.

That night we just rode around and just enjoyed the sights. We got tacos and went back to the room and sat on the balcony. The kids were pretty tired so we went to bed. The next morning Regan and Karly got up early just like always and so the two of them and I were on the beach by 6am. We went walking and tried to collect seashells. Regan thought he was at a catch and release program because he would pick up the shells and then throw them into the water telling them to swim! It was so funny.   Finally we went and got Ricky and Kollyn up. We went to the grocery store to get some danishes and then headed back to the room for some beach time!

That day for lunch we went and met my friend Lisa for lunch! The last time we saw her Regan was about 2 years old! I can't believe it has been that long. (I'm not going to post pics cause its kinda weird to post pics without asking)  Then we went back and spent more time time on the beach before heading to Pier Park!

I had a wonderful time with the kids and not having anything that needed to be done but enjoying the stage we are in right now.